'It takes a village to raise a child' - African proverb It's 2023. It's a Saturday and it's in the afternoon as I write this sitting at my dining table at home (the typing and uploading of this essay will be done sitting in front of my Mac Mini later). The sun beams its rays from about 150 million kilometres away and it nurtures and provides sustenance to all forms of life on our planet - Humans, plants and animals thrive in this auspicious configuration. As I sit here and write, I begin to form an idea of what it is that I'm supposed to express. This feeling is aligned with title of this essay : To put one's foot in front of the other. As simple as this statement may or may not sound, I truly believe that understanding simple truths like this make all the difference in one's life. For example, following the non-hurried flow and simplicity of one's breath in and out is fundamentally the nature of our existence. Something which many take for granted, or completely forget about at times. I grew up at a time when there were no handphones. No personal computing. No social media. No Youtube, movies on demand and most of all - No Google. And because of this, we knew nothing about the world we lived in, except for things we read in Encyclopaedias, books, newspapers or through conversing with others. The family functioned as a grounding element, where one derived his/her/their first views of the world. Back then, it was okay not to know everything. There existed things out there that we needed to seek knowledge and experience for. To gain some insight and understanding. You had to work for your meal. So it was a different era. To learn about the world, you had to go out and experience it. And hopefully maintain your sanity at the end of the day. You went home after your explorations about life. The family unit was (and is) supposed to be coherent, sheltered - A safe place. But it also evolves and changes as one's needs (and family units, groups or systems) - change over time. Seasons change. So does character, habits and life choices do so with age, and with the times. New technologies are invented all the time. New energy and ways of working too. Science marches on. I have since then gone through many wonderful (and sometimes uncomfortable) changes, and writing this one the eve of my birthday, serves to highlight a passage of time to the narrative. What have I learnt? I'd like to show you a diagram of what artists' go through when they attempt new work (it's also called The Creative Process, in jest) : Ironically, I think it relates to a lot of other things in life too. It's about how we approach, think and experience things in life. These thoughts circulate (perhaps in mostly the same pattern) whenever we attempt a new task. It happens when we attempt mighty and challenging tasks. It's about beginnings and endings. We all encounter Act 2 : Conflict. At this stage we question our motives. We appear lost and confused. This leads to negative thoughts. I'm not good enough. Who am I trying to fool? I don't know what I'm doing. This sucks. I think it's a natural occurrence, and it's the part of the flow of things. Not knowing, not being able to see into the future is fairly normal; especially when we are confronted with the unknown. When we attempt new things for the first time, of course we don't know what we're doing. Wisdom and resilience comes after the experience, and never before. The point of going through with things is in the challenge. That you are called upon to partake and participate in this thing called life. The premise of all this is evolution. To live a fuller, more expansive life. You are growing and it's painful, no doubt. But change isn't painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful. Resistance comes from within, not externally. How do we find peace and stability in this process? Not overthinking helps. Wu-Wei. Effortless action. And faith. It is the labels that we give to ourselves and others, the thoughts and feelings that we attach ourselves to, that gives these things a sticky feeling. We give these things energy, a form, a name, a feeling - When we don't necessarily have to. There is a biological and chemical thing that happens in our brains when we keep thinking in a certain way for prolonged periods of time. I'm no neuroscientist or doctor, but neural pathways do exist and they carry electrical and biological energy in the process. Stick a metal rod into an orange and you can conduct enough energy to light an LED bulb. While we are governed by these biological, physiological and emotional impulses daily - being human - It would be beneficial to self reflect, meditate upon and study - Our limitations, as well as gifts. That yes, while we may possess biases and blind spots, we also carry in us seeds of creative energy (or waves, if you prefer that visual). We have our own specialties. Some are scientists who learn and discover new things about the earth we live in. Some are doctors that attend to the sick. Some are artists who work with their mediums to express music, writing, dance and art. Some are trained psychologists and they attend to mental and emotional health issues. The list goes on. 'The Well Where We All Go Down To Drink', 60x60 inches, Mixed Media on canvas, 2020 Each person you meet today or in the near future are but parts of the universe waving back at you. It's saying to you, 'Hey, hi!' or 'We are here, right now in the moment and what a great joy it is to see you!' Although, in some deviations the message can differ. Sometimes it's a serene whisper, connection and companionship. Sometimes it's on the other end of the spectrum - something that irks you. Something that makes you angry. Or bamboozles and disrupts your day. Or sometimes it makes you feel uncomfortable. Stressed out. But the premise is always this : It's something that asks for your attention. For your time and awareness. The difference lies in how you perceive it. What is it asking of you? To expand your awareness. Are you seeing and sensing these things from a perspective of fear, lack or understanding and awareness? I think we all intuitively know where we are operating from (if we dare to ask the questions that matter).
Take some time to address this. If you do, don't lump all your troubles into one basket, or funnel all your challenges into one particular moment. Break it down. Ask the question, why? What is it that I need to change and be aware of? Place one foot in front of the other. The destination / end goal is not important. It's how we navigate and walk the path that matters. Everyone has their own core beliefs and values, but I'd like to finish off with a few that resonate with me : With humility, love, abundance, understanding, awareness and camaraderie. Don't let the monkey mind get you.
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In my experience, a lot of young people (and sometimes, older people too, very questionably) struggle with this concept of Doing what you like vs. Doing things you hate, or dislike. So, we may think that doing things we like (which is pleasurable, no doubt) is one of life's goals and something to look forward to, isn't it? It's that surge of endorphins, serotonin or whatever feel good chemicals that arise in your brain and physical body when you do things that are pleasurable. But the paradox of this is that in reality, to do the things that you like; you first have to do what you dislike.
What we like and dislike are very personal issues. What you may like doing that gives you pleasure in the act of doing it - May differ from the next person's feelings about the same act. And vice versa. We are very specialized creatures of habit, psychology and nuance. Physiologically too. What works for me, may not work for you. But the distinction and fact is, that there are things that you and I do that gives us pleasure over stress. Things that bring about joy, or difficulty. Yes? And there are things that we may find difficult to attempt at first, but after a while, it may become a habit, or something that we have allowed ourselves to commit to daily practice. Things like this could include washing the dishes. Or cleaning our rooms. Or helping others. Or public speaking. The list goes on. Very concrete analogies and examples above. Now I will go a little abstract here, if you may. Doing what you dislike builds resilience and discipline. It is uncomfortable but necessary. Because you find it difficult, it means that you are not used to it. That it is something that you do not have access to (yet) and that may be important in your life. What you dislike to do is the buffer between your perceived ego (what you perceive as You) and the external world. The external world is something that I would describe as : situations, people and/or environments that are outside our physical body. I'm trying to keep this topic very simple here. So after a while of doing what you dislike, you begin to build a reputation of a trustable, dependable, hard working person or character. When people begin to associate you with being dependable, people will trust your eye and judgement. They will begin to put their money or trust in you. This is how you bridge both the internal and external worlds together. This is the reason we pull our socks up and do the things that are required of us. Even though we dislike it at first. Perfection is lots of little things done well. Nobody likes to work so hard to gain a six pack or a fit body. Nobody likes to wake up at 6 in the morning, exercise, meditate, shower and get to work early. Nobody likes to work so hard daily only to receive remuneration which they think is below what they should receive. But the premise is this : That with repetition, daily toil and honest, hard work, that by being fully immersed in this thing called life, we begin to open up and bloom like a flower. We begin to realize deeply, and we begin to manifest in the physical world the changes that are required for us to receive those things which we want and need. When you attempt doing things you dislike, it becomes easier to do what you do like. Here's the caveat : There will always be rules, boundaries and limits in any event, game, system or methodology. While life can be chaotic, Life also has it's own rules. So while the title of this piece is Doing What You Like - most of the time you will have to abide by some kind of rule, or rules of the game. This is the thing you'll have to realize and accept. That in any game or system, there are bound to be rules. It is paradoxical. And this is what makes it fun, if you understand the deeper meaning of it all. So, for the young and the uninitiated, you'll have to humble yourself and start at the bottom of the ladder. A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. You'll have to begin with the most basic fundamentals. Which is : Find a way to do what you dislike or hate doing. If you can manage this, you will have transcended the game of labels. Of ego. Of narcissism. Of excuses. Of blame. Of mediocrity. And then you can eventually do what you like. This is about one's perception. It's about looking at the issue from another point of view. To fully understand what is Left, you must first know what is Right. To fully understand Freedom, you must first know Rigidity, Structure and Discipline. To fully know the Light, you must have walked in the Dark. That is the most sustainable way. It is the full experience of it. So to reiterate, do what you dislike first. Put aside your inflated ego. Expectations. Mindless feedback. Chatter. Gossip. The inner critique. Just do what you dislike in order to fully enjoy doing what you do like. There will come a time when you have come to a realization that the two extremes are actually in fact, the same thing. But that's a story for another piece. This is an excerpt from a Q&A that was done in 2021 that was intended for Sembilan Art Residency's new website.
1. Rewinding back in time - How did you get started in Art? I've always been drawing since I was a kid. I remember drawing on very large mahjong papers as a kid- one who was hyperactive, could not stay still, and so these papers were given to me as a way to keep me occupied. Growing up, in school as well, I was always drawing. Anatomy, comic book art, calligraphy and learnt the fine art of sketching and watercolors as a teenager. Growing up, I was trained in classical piano and the organ. Naturally, I gravitated towards art and creative endeavours. As a young adult, I learnt photography, music/audio production & engineering, computers. In my working years, I was exposed to graphic design, Photoshop, 3D, videography, performing as a DJ, events and marketing. It was only 2010 that I began painting again, making use of the skills and knowledge (I studied literature & the social sciences in college) that I accumulated, learned and experienced over the years. In a way, coming back to the beginning, but with new eyes and disposition. 2. What led you to Sembilan - Where were you in your art career at the time? An old buddy, James Yip (one of the co-founders of Sembilan) asked me out for dim sum one day with an idea for an artist residency that he, his wife Xin Yi and Lee (co-founder) were setting up. I agreed to join Sembilan as their first season artist, alongside Jael Estrella. At the time, I was already a few years into my art practice. This was in 2014. After some consideration, I jumped at the opportunity, wanting to further my art practice and thought processes. I had been doing a few group shows as well as solo shows in the Klang Valley too, and wanted to take this opportunity to learn new things about my craft: making bigger works, making use of the studio space and getting to know Seremban town - where the first residency was held. I had been extensively travelling and documenting Malaysia's cities, towns and islands at the time. 3. What were your expectations prior to joining and were they met? I didn't have much expectations, to be honest. Of course, the basics - A studio space to work in, a place to stay at, and to have enough money to pay my bills and expenditures. The Sembilan team fulfilled all my expectations. I had a great time. It was an eye opener for me; having dedicated use of a professional artist studio then. This experience informed my choice to subsequently open my own studio/atelier shortly thereafter. And I've run my own studio ever since. It's amazing what one can achieve in a designated workplace, away from home. It gives the artist freedom, a physical and mental space to make their best works, at any given time. 4. Would you join (or have you joined) any other art residencies since? In 2014, near the end of our Sembilan residency, we (Jael and I) we were sent to Penang for Wei Ling Gallery's mentorship programme. I was mentored under Hamidi Hadi, a great abstract artist and academic. We are still friends till this day and it was a great learning experience. In 2018, I joined Rimbun Dahan for a 3 months as their South East Asian Artist in Residence. There, I created a body of work which went on to show at a two-man show at the National Art Gallery of KL, organized and represented by the infamous Pelita Hati Gallery of Art. It's rather strange writing about this now, that some of the smaller female portraiture paintings from my Rimbun Dahan residency - recently got sold at an art fair at Seoul, Korea this year in 2021 through the Korean Gallery LVS. Artist residencies are great for the formation of (new) ideas and processes for an artist. It pushes the artist beyond what they normally do in their own studios. 5. What would your advice be to an artist who is considering to join an art residency program? I'd tell the artist to go for it. Make the sacrifice. Go beyond your comfort zone - it's where great things happen for you, where growth truly begins. I've had the privilege of both talking to art interns, students and writing letters of recommendations for artists who are trying to get into art residency programs. I've had to review works from national artists in national art competitions too. The common singularity is this - A curious mind, someone who wants to explore their craft further, pushing the boundaries of what we know as human beings, and making the effort to make their dreams a reality. The art world is tough, it's risky; but you know innately if art making is for you. Whether you are meant to do it. We don't regret the things we did. We regret the things we failed to do. 6. In relation to the art ecosystem, are residencies important, and why? Yes, they are. The are breeding grounds for ideas and experimentation. Artist residencies are pillars of the ecosystem. Alongside writers, critics, galleries, museums, art schools, artists et al. At a residency you are guided, given space to work. It's akin to a blank slate for you as an artist to make known, what is unknown or unrealized. It's a kind of academic institution, but for a limited time only. So make your best works there, enjoy your time during the residency and make connections and networks that you may not have had the opportunity to do so; if you were working alone in your studio. Enjoy the process, be gratuitous and be graceful in your daily undertaking. 7. Finally, where are you at with your art career at the moment, and what's next from you? That's the eventual question isn't it? I'm super busy at the moment haha. Having employed an assistant and running my studio, this takes up my waking and working hours. I work on paintings and document the process. Everyday I'm reading, meditating, writing, attending shows, participating in group and solo shows and generally speaking and engaging people from the lens of an artist. This means, the topics generally revolve around photography, videography, composition, elements of design or framing works, ordering supplies and making adjustments to my works: readying them for shows, clients or galleries and having enough time and mental clarity daily for exercise, family, loved ones, a cup of coffee, regular meals and a good nights sleep. When you get to a phase or a level in your work as an artist, you'll need to begin sacrificing some things which people take for granted. It may mean declining a visit to a party, or having to work alone, removing staples, carrying heavy things or reorganizing and dealing with storage space in the studio. Or buying and investing in expensive artist grade materials. If it's required of you, go do it. Be serious about where you are going in your career, plan your path and shoulder that responsibility. Take pride in your work and enjoy the small victories when and where you can get it. The art market is a beast. So be humble, graceful and be thankful for where you are in the ecosystem. Respect the past, learn the trade and when and after you master it, don't be afraid to break the rules or to question the status quo. But always in the spirit of respect, tradition and evolution. Be confident, expressive, have no fear and put in the work. Oh, I haven't answered the question of what's next for me? haha. The usual. Get better at my work from working at it. Joining upcoming art fairs that my galleries will be participating in, solo shows or group shows. Pushing forward, putting my hypothesis to the test, failing, succeeding. All part and parcel of an artists' trajectory. But most importantly, I look for ways to help others. 'As you grow older, you will discover you have two hands, one for helping ourselves, the other for helping others.' - Audrey Hepburn |
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