If you've seen any of my social media stories (you know, the posts that disappear after a day), you'll see me posting about sound systems, records and turntables. 'What I Think About When I Play Records' is my way of explaining this hobby of mine. It's a peek into the thought and emotional processes, and of course, my relationship with music. I began playing records at quite a young age, 16. It was a difficult time for me, because my parents separated that year. Music was always a go-to form of self expression, and with regards to the self - also a medium that I (or we) sometimes use to self sooth. I think everyone has a kindred relationship with music - when we break up, we listened to sad, sappy songs. When we fell in love, we listened to sappy love songs. When we needed a boost, we listened to high energy music. For me, music was always a way to look inwards. To connect. A kind of solace and an inner world. From a very young age, I experienced music on good sound systems, thanks to my dad. We'd listen to music together in his AV room, enjoying the dynamics and spatial soundscapes performed by brilliant artists and musicians like Gary Moore, Sade, Kenny G, Louis Armstrong et al. (It was after all, the 80s. Hah!). From these experiences, I connected to, and came to love music. These core memories informs the significance of music in my life. In my teens, I was part of dance groups and performed in a hiphop collective. My musical journey evolved by playing records on a Technics SL1200mk2 turntable set - borrowed from a good buddy, Jerry Francis aka Jungle Jerry (thank you for loaning me those excellent turntables, buddy). It was at 16 that I was first introduced to the art of DJing and turntables - which fit quite well with my quiet, artistic nature. I've always liked to draw pictures, and it was also around this time that I spray painted my room wall. It was done in a graffiti style. I can safely say now, that if you intend to spray paint a wall, you should get proper ventilation. You don't want to cough and choke for days after. I started playing gigs as a freelance DJ shortly thereafter. House parties back then, was a thing. The sign of a great house party would be beers in the hosts' fridge. Of course, this also informed my drinking habit and was my first introduction into the drinking culture. I stopped drinking in 2017. I began working as a DJ at the age of 19. We mainly spun records back then as there were no CDJs yet. MP3? Not for many years to come. At one of the clubs I worked at, The Backroom KL - we’d have a monthly stipend to buy records from Singapore. Why Singapore? Because they had Tower Records. And Valentine Music and record shops that would sell second hand dance music for fairly cheap. We'd pay around SGD8 for a single and perhaps SGD11 for a new album release. It was affordable back then. We'd test the records in vinyl listening booths. We’d head down to Singapore with some money, and return to Malaysia with a car full of new vinyl (Jungle Jerry was driving). Great times. Camaraderie. We’d play all the new records at the club that very same night. It was a great experience as a tribe. I attach my record collecting compulsions - to those days of my youth. A youth spent digging through crates of records. Finding ourselves in the music and genres that resonate and guide us as individuals. And in sharing the music we love with others. I think the communal aspect of buying, and subsequently playing records to the public became a part of my internal landscape. I buy music to firstly, satisfy an internal need. At the same time, it's also a social tool. Like coffee. We share music and playlists with others as a way to bond and connect.
I also love the physicality of handling the music. Each album (or track) has a physical form in the real world. As a black vinyl disc. I imagine the journey it took, for the record to appear in my hand and I think about record manufacturing factories; the sleeves designed by someone, printed somewhere, packaged and finally, shipped to the stores. All this comes with a cost. Being a physical object (like books or furniture), records have to be stored away from direct sunlight. Otherwise, they warp. I believe all this lends itself to the character and experience of the music. I don't think I'd give up listening to music like this. Once a record collector, always a record collector. Of course, we could always get into how good the record sounds. But that's subjective. If you really want to hear how it sounds on a good system, send me an email and I'll add you to an upcoming listening room session. If I get enough requests.
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'Zeitgeist', 48x48 inches, Mixed media on canvas, 2023 So, its 2024. That's 2024 years since we began counting the days and the years. I've been around for close to 50 of them - Hah!. I wanted to write a piece on how 2023 went. About realizations, setbacks, interesting anecdotes - that sort of thing. But one thing led to another, and by the time I was able to sit down to write something, it's already the 3rd day of 2024. Still, better late than never. "How did you spend your New Year's?" I get asked that question a lot. I tell everyone the same story. That the New Years Celebration, to me - isn't a big deal. It's just another day, right? The sun goes down, comes up the next day. Over and over, again and again. However, I was able to spend some quality time with my family, irregardless of whatever concepts or non-concepts I may have about about dates and numbers. As the year drew to a close a few days ago, I couldn't help it but to be thankful. Thankful for all the opportunities to learn, grow, expand, to feel loss, grief, to review my attachments, to create, destroy, declutter and overall - Experience life to its fullest (in my very limited capability and ways). Looking back at the year - I've gone from having some setbacks, financially as well as emotionally - to a more stable and secure frame of mind. Awareness is key. Always bring it back. I think that was the goal anyway - To understand myself and the world around me - Better. To leave things in a better way from where I found it. To work at being effective, resilient, capable and trustworthy. To say what I mean and mean what I say. To avoid creating situations where I would inadvertently resent myself, or others around me. To live and traverse this world, lightly, with grace and awareness. To decrease the amount of suffering I, and others around me face - if I possibly can. To lift others up and to be a strong foundation for myself, my family and my community. This stuff takes work. I think I have achieved most (if not all of it), and if I were lacking - I apologise to those who I've wronged or let down. I think I am able to reduce these 'unfavourable' occasions, as I get older. In a real (and objective) world - we all should be looking after ourselves well, so we can help others in turn. I trust this process. 'The Tedium of Blossoming', 24x24 inches, Mixed media on board, 2023 And so I run, lift, work, swim, play, spend and relax more. I try to engage more. Take on more risks. Failure isn't even a thing. It's all about expansion, learning and experiencing life.
To those who have collected my works in 2023, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your contributions to my/our financial wellbeing have been put to good use. It's used to further expand my art making and expression. It allows me to look at things differently. In a calm manner and with a keenness and sensitivity that originates from purpose and meaning. Your contributions (and it's not only about the money, but in many cases, time & energy too) has helped countless others. You have no idea how many lives you have helped with your generosity. Your efforts are far reaching. It travels onmidirectionally, and has great impact on the world. Especially in Malaysia. I know you are doing the best you can, the way you can - and that is encouraging, liberating, humbling and inspiring. Continue to inspire the same in others. And never ever, let your guard down. For there is always something to strive for and to challenge oneself with. Stay fit and healthy. Take this time to breathe and connect to the creative spirit that's within and all around us. Taken from the excerpts of L'Officiel Magazine : https://www.lofficielmalaysia.com/art/introducing-local-conceptual-artist-nicholas-choong Introducing local conceptual artist, Nicholas Choong The talented artist opens up about what gets him out of bed every day. 12.12.2023 by John Ng Nicholas Choong, a conceptual artist from Malaysia, needs no introduction, especially in the visual art and design communities. Colourful and traditional, Choong’s work defies categorisation and blurs the line between art and life through the use of a refreshing style of expression, as he skilfully incorporates a wide range of found objects into visually appealing compositions that incorporate recognisable imagery from popular culture with bold patterns. “My works talk about themes of societies and cultures, and about inner, personal development. They are about how we view the world; they are metaphors for living,” he says. “I like that my works speak to the inner child within ourselves. There is a playful and curious nature to these works.” Yet, the sentiments they convey and the way they are structured exude a sensible air of maturity. How is Pop art different from other styles? Pop art, to me, represents a certain culture. Historically, artists like Warhol, Jasper Johns, Jeff Koons and Keith Haring were pioneers of the Pop art movement. In today’s contemporary art world, Pop art has grown tremendously in terms of acceptance in popular and mainstream culture, backed by the efforts of Banksy, Kaws, Futura, James Jean and Daniel Arsham, to name a few, making it extremely accessible and marketable. I think Pop art has an urgency that is unparalleled compared to other styles such as classical, baroque, modern art or abstract expressionism, and because of this urgency, it’s very easy to get into it. Even children and young people can grasp its narrative. Have you ever had a particularly memorable interaction with a fan that impacted your work? The short answer is yes, I have. I’m always open to seeing how others react to my work. It’s interesting to be able to connect with others and share their perspectives on how they view things. I think each individual has a unique perspective and worldview. No one is inherently right or wrong. There are billions of universes and ideas in our world today, and to say that this is wrong or right is quite limiting. Everyone has, in some way, influenced me directly or indirectly as a person and as an artist. I think it’s important to listen to people without judgement, but at the same time, to have inner resilience and determination and to pursue what is important for oneself. Art is, generally, a form of expression. Something we all do to make sense of the world. How do you balance your artistic version with the expectations of your audience? I think in recent years, my audience has grown significantly, thanks to the galleries that show and represent my works. In terms of expectations, I’ve always been comfortable pushing the boundaries of what’s cool or what’s allowed — a bit like a rebel. So my audience realises and expects this character in my work. I’m always looking to push beyond whatever limitations we, as a society or as individuals, possess. Of course, when it comes to expectations, they have to be managed. We make art first as an offering to the creative spirit, to ourselves as producers or makers of art, and finally for the community to which we are all connected. How do you handle criticism and use it to grow as an artist? I think criticism is important and has its uses. No one lives entirely alone on an island — as much as we’d like to. We are biologically geared to be social animals. I think young artists need to redefine the term “criticism” and what it means to them. I think to accept criticism fully and objectively as a positive thing, one needs to put aside the ego for a while. The ego does not like being criticised. Constructive criticism is helpful. We all have our blind spots, and we operate from a very limited perspective. The human brain is a pretty lazy thing. It likes to store and put away everything for easy reference. The term “autopilot” refers to a function that the brain excels at, allowing it to operate at a level that is not too demanding. Otherwise, we’d burn out very quickly. Criticism is meant to show you various other points of view, and people should express what they feel and think. It’s all valid. I try to listen intently to whatever people say. I think it boils down to self-responsibility. Being honest in your expression and prioritising your true values over the opinions of others. It would be impossible to please everyone. As an artist, you make work that pleases and resonates with yourself first. To truly express oneself, one must know oneself. What is the most rewarding aspect of being a Pop artist?
As an artist, time is generally spent in the studio alone, or with assistants, creating new works of art. There’s a sense of adventure there. Like a pioneer, seeking new territories and newfound lands. One gets to explore, not only physically or using materials, but also intellectually. By creating Pop and contemporary art, I’m able to talk about issues that affect us as a society, but also on an individual level. This could be war, climate change, waste, economics, social or community issues, history, mental health, video game culture and the Internet. There’s a myriad of discussions that can arise from the works. And of course, my favourite system is juxtaposition. Juxtaposition is the comparison of two separate, yet distinct, elements or subjects and the correlation between the two elements. Or spaces that they inhabit. A lot can be learned and discussed when using juxtaposition in an artwork. One can speak of two different things as well as a third: the relationship or differences between those two things. This is interesting to me. 'Serotonin', 48x60, Acrylic on cigarette foil on board, 2019. Sold Growing up in the 80's and 90's meant that (for those in the know) we were exposed to a myriad of transformations, new technologies, cultures and shifts in art, music styles, fashion and lifestyles. It was a time when (in accordance with mental health institutions and schools of psychology) 'being positive', 'awakening the giant within' and the 'laws of attraction' were being promoted and heralded as the way to be and think. Think positive! The invention of the Atari, Commodore 64, the Apple Macintosh, Windows 95 (PC computers), CD, VCD and DVD players - meant that consumer mindsets and habits had to change. I, for one, was on board with this. It was new, fun, interactive. But I was (and probably still am, in most circumstances) an introvert (with the learned exception of when I'm performing music, writing or engaged in sports). This meant that I would be okay sitting down by myself for long periods of time either tinkering with these new fangled contraptions, or just listening to music or playing board games with one or two close friends. This meant reading books, comics, encyclopaedias, drawing or working at house chores alone. Learning new things alone, was a norm. When you grow up like this, you find fascination, curiosity and interest in the most simplest of things : A piece of rock sheared off a mountain or hill. In the contours and designs of a specific leaf, or the forms of moss and lichen. The textures of paint on asphalt roads, or in the cracking and peeling of paint from weathered walls - All serve to inform the inner tapestry and visual language of an introvert. In other words, and introvert is somebody who is comfortable attending to his/her inner worlds. Yes, there exists a world inside us. One that begs to be questions, prodded, understood, made sense of, ruminated upon, tested in the external 'real world' its validity, theory or otherwise. A way of being that extroverts usually regard as being 'moody' or 'socially awkward'. Extroverts don't take into account these inner worlds as severely or instinctively as introverts do. For most introverts, they do not have a choice. It's not something you can turn off, or on, like a light switch or an oven. In short, extroverts do not recharge or rejuvenate in the face of solitariness. Being alone is not the same as being lonely. While some encounter discomfort, struggle and chaos being alone - I find calmness, peace, serenity and comfort. Just mediating and navigating my inner world brings about order and organization that's needed in times of chaos and turmoil. I think it's one of the main reasons why I choose to be alone on most days, over the need to be surrounded by other people. One cannot escape being with oneself, forever. There will be a time when all we have, are ourselves to contend with. The question is : Do you look after yourself like you would someone you love and cherish? Or do you criticise, blame, judge, reduce your inner self to shreds? And if so, why? 'Entropy', 48x48, Oil on aluminium, 2023, Sold Coming to terms with one's mortality, limitations, biases, needs and shortcomings, is an intrinsic problem and conquest. I applaud those that get down to do the dirty work. For one can only run and hide for so long. Everything that we experience in life is recorded somehow on a cellular level. It's what we make of it all; that matters. It's about perception and understanding concepts and patterns. First you acknowledge it. Then you accept it. And then you let it go.
And there's a lot of work to be done in the world with regards to this. Extroverts tend to like group settings or experiences that involve lots of people. It lifts them up. Generally labelled as brash, loud and gregarious. In certain aspects I carry the extrovert characteristic : In sports or when performing music or in writing. However, I believe that in order to be confident, we must master a skill. Without mastery of an art form, there's no point in braggadocio. The analytical, organisational and critical part of me is loud and clear on this one. I'm superseded by a voice that tells me to 'think before I speak' or 'learn and master what is important to you'. It's valid. The world loves extroverts. This is evident in our social media feeds, in the financial world, in business, entrepreneurship and in the art world (to a certain extent). However, for all the numerous and overly publicised extrovert behaviour, there exists a considerable - if not equal amount of introverts. Those who quietly toil away, chisel at, who contemplate, reflect, think, write about and ponder silently - their existences, choices and words. It was introverted bankers and financiers who pointed out fallacies and shortcomings, way before a stock market or housing bubbles crashed. It is those who have loud inner voices and consciences, that see things that others don't. Sometimes we all move too fast, don't we? Life surprises us sometimes. It appears when we reach the top of a mountain after a long climb. Or in the way plants and flowers bloom and grow undisturbed in unsuspecting places. Or in reaching the pinnacle of our goals and aims after much hard work and toil. Only to realize that there was nothing much to stress nor worry about in the first place. That we just needed to put one foot in front of the other. I'm delighted to announce that my work 'Ambidex' will grace the front cover of an upcoming comic book release. It's for the cult favourite, dystopian-noir-detective release called 'Bullet Gal', penned by a mate of mine, Andrez Bergen who lives and works in Japan. I believe the release will be a North American one and will be distributed for free. I am not sure how that will happen but I'm pleased that both front and back covers will feature my artworks. Growing up, I devoured comics and graphic novels. The visual language and storytelling amazed, perplexed and challenged me. It informed my drawing style, and I still resonate with it - to this day. There's nothing like observing and enjoying the fruits of hand drawn characters and worlds, which exist and comes to life in comic books. I was inspired by graphic novels like The Sandman (1989, Neil Gaiman, DC and Vertigo) and A Death In The Family (1998, Jim Starlin, DC Comics) and how these rarities were presented, marketed and executed. Totally grassroots. And epic. Of course, later on I discovered Ghibli movies as well as Japanese animes like Akira et al.
So I'm happy to contribute something back to the art form of comic publishing and to the creative people behind this industry. I'd suggest that you follow IF? COMMIX for the release of 'Bullet Gal : End Game' - If this is your cup of tea. I believe that if you feed your talent, it will in turn feed you. Take those calculated risks and reach for the stars. You may just make it with hard work and perseverance. 'Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you' - Khalil Gibran
2023 marks the year where my 2 children have finished and completed their SPM's. For those who live beyond Malaysia - SPM is the equivalent to the O Levels (somewhat), and something like the SAT's (perhaps). Man, only 10 years ago I can distinctly remember getting my kid ready for school, sending him off daily in the mornings, sorting my mornings with work, daily rituals and habits and then picking him up form school. Having lunches together and enjoying the rest of the day painting, playing lego or board games, awaiting dinners - And repeating these daily routines for a successive number of years. Well, that is all gone now, replaced with new rituals and habits. One has to learn to let go of the past - for in doing so, brings about new adventures and experiences. He is 17. And working now. And has a driving license. Which he uses to take my car out for excursions with his friends. Or to work. But somehow, still comes home to sleep, to be around and help out around the house and they (I have another kid, who is living with us whom I regard as a daughter) very honourably - take the time to do family things together, when asked. Outings, dinners and the like. They communicate and listen fairly well, are responsible and have good moral compasses. This stage of life, to me - Is about waiting. Waiting for the day they move out, find their voices and vocations. Spreading their wings. Which, will inadvertently happen sooner or later. One of the defining and driving reasons for this is to escape my constant (albeit important) nagging. Hah! It's the gap between being a school leaver and being a full fledged adult that this grinding, chiselling, reminding and shaping of the young mind is about. Without our parents we would be a shell of what we could ultimately be. And I think, that's what parents (for me, for sure) need to be reminded of. Our responsibility to nurture, push, harness, convince, bribe (hah!), thwart and to necessitate the unfolding and grooming that every young adult (or old child) needs. It's a responsibility and both a curse and a blessing to be in a position of this sort. Our voices will become their inner voices. So choose your words carefully and mindfully. And so while I wait, I count my blessings. And look back on a rough and tough, enlightening and amazing journey that has defined my past 10+ years. Both for me and for my children. Given the choice to do it again - I would do it the same way. With resilience, faith, mindfulness and with love and kindness. Of course, I was also brutal and forceful at times - But we all learn from our mistakes. And it is with utmost relief and appreciation that my kids know that I want the best for them. And everything that I did or did not do, was for the greater good. Having written that - yes, the 'best' could mean an infinite number of things. Sometimes it also means just letting go, and letting kids and young adults find their own way. I think, that if you have the foresight, hindsight and proper perspective and outlook on life's teachings, journeys and events - You'll see that even in the darkest of times, the light was always there. One is not able to peer into the darkness without some form of beam or vision. Knowing that we have that ability is the first step towards accountability, responsibility and awareness. I think the hard part is over now. The kids know where to look, what to look at, how to self reflect, how to negotiate, how to be humble and most importantly, how to (albeit slowly) integrate their (1) Shadow selves and (2) inner child into this thing called being an adult. The latter is hugely important because the inner child lives on in all of us. He/she lives through us and our actions. What we do to either quell or acknowledge him/her is our choice and responsibility. It is with proper, healthy and stable integration - that we blossom into our fullest selves. And this is where I will stop writing about this matter, for now. Because if I keep on writing, I could end up going on and on. And this would end up being a thesis. Not my intention for today. 'You are what you do, not what you say you'll do.' - Carl Jung 'Chau Tut' (pronounced Chow Toot) is a remarkable word. It's an adverb. A word that is related to how we perform an action. It's also used to describe a manner, or state of being. Like the words; strong, gentle or responsible. Being Chau Tut however, is the total opposite of all those examples. It describes a mental state of insanity, a silliness, a state of confusion. A person who is Chau Tut is somebody who has lost the plot or is acting from a premise of having one screw loose. Or is driving a car with one less wheel or missing a piston.
Essentially, the word has Cantonese origins. 'Chau' is to run. An action. 'Tut' however, has no origins anywhere (to my best linguistic understanding). And I do speak 3 languages. As far as I know, there is no 'Tut' (meaning, nor word) that exists in any language or dialect. But it does sound silly. So to Chau Tut means to Run Amok. Its uses goes something like this - 'That fella chau tut lah'. Or, 'That is so chau tut'. It expresses a mental state or action that is so impossibly off the scale that it is not to be taken seriously, whatsoever. By saying this or that is Chau Tut, signifies that the action is totally irresponsible, ridiculous and silly. The chances are, whatever it is hasn't been given any coherent thought to, prior to the action. Totally missing the point and the focus. How do people Chau Tut, and why? I think the word cropped up about 10 or more years ago. When one would be in an intoxicated state or messed up from hard drugs - It's one of those colloquial slangs. That on one hand although it's a terrible state to be in, but being able to say that oneself is Chau Tut also means that an awareness is at play. That one is at least aware enough that one is acting from a nonsensical point of reference. It can be a self regulating mantra. It serves as a warning that someone (or oneself) is off the rails. In BM it can be described as : 'Sudah masuk air' (translated to 'Water has entered the system'.) There's a sense of nonsense about the act or individual, or a sense of stupidity - depending on how severe the chau tut-ness is. The moral of the story is this : Don't chau tut, okay? 'The world will ask you who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you.' - Carl Jung The Scorched Earth Series was an experiment in 2020 (Covid time) to utilise mediums and materials which were found locally or within my environment. To find meaning from the materials and to form an expression. In the search for meaning, I have had to look within (sometimes at uncomfortable things). There was no holding back, fearing, and no use fighting with the materials. It served one purpose : to bring forth and to reveal what was buried beneath the work. To put things into order from chaos. The essence of transcendence and transmutation is chiefly about this process. A painting or a work is never finished, it is interrupted. We cannot foretell the future - Only alter our memories of the past to fit our narratives. To learn from the past, to sort and shift - is what the work was about. There is time, and there are the times where we do work. Work doesn't happen on its own. I spent about 6 months making these (there are a few more, stored away). These were made in times of solitude, distress even, but there were always realizations and insights. And then one day, the works were done. I was done. I couldn't add nor remove anything from the works. 'Untitled', 60x60 inches, Mixed media on panel, 2020 'Illuvium I', 24x24 inches, Mixed media on panel, 2020 In a way, they exist in this space as a culmination of the materials they are composed of. They are byproducts of time and space. A becoming of something independent. Something which beckons to be seen, felt, experienced. Why do these things exist? There is no logical answer to that. We can try to decipher it - But it is quite impossible. And we live with that knowledge and limitation as best as we can. In the works, I'm not seeking representations. There's a premise of design : What feels right. What feels wrong. There exists beauty in design, but there's always an undertone of destruction and chaos. The work goes beyond paintings. Layer upon layer was built up. And removed. There's an aura to these works. A spirit and aesthetic; like an old musty book. There's something there which you can't put a finger on. It's this, but it's also something else. The leaves were randomly placed. Just chucked on. It's an organic method of working. Nature is chaotic and we create order from it. I intended the work to be serendipitous. On a walk to buy dinner one day, I may find some twigs on the floor. On another trip out, I may see a bunch of leaves but I don't collect it. So it's through trusting this intuition that the materials came to be on the canvas. The works naturally happened through curation. 'The Sun, The Moon and The Stars of Our Interior Lives', 60x120 inches, Mixed Media on canvas, 2020 The work comes from a place of connection and communication with the creative spirit. Just being in a flow state. There were no concepts, no one telling me outright what or what not to do. Curation is about the need to file things. To sort things. To rearrange the context of things. To put order to things is what creation is about. The works are also about death and impermanence. It's about letting go. It's about remembering the value, emotion and feelings of those that have passed. Something new breaks through the cracks when I destroy a work or a painting. There is a sense of adventure. It's bravado. It's about questioning the status quo. It's about reaching further. Of diving into the unknown. Of tapping into the cosmos; The great provider. Life lends itself to more life. It's about giving fear the middle finger - saying You there! You are bullshit. I'm not afraid of you. 'Scorched Earth', 36x36 inches, Mixed Media on panel, 2020. Sold 'Heart Of The Matter', 24x24 inches, Mixed Media on panel, 2020 The work is about time. A moment, a space and place which I exist and am tethered in. The series is a recording of that. It's about dreams, fears, ruminations. Of checks and balances.
Dried leaves and cement talks about decay and destruction. It talks about our time on earth and how and what we are doing to impose or improve on that. With the materials, I wanted to transmute things. To turn things into other things. It's up to the viewer to define what exactly it is we're talking about. And that's life isn't it? How we all look at things from the past and how we construct narratives from them to fit our frameworks. It's how we reform memories and events in order for it to suit us. So we can move forward. In making sense of things. Without this capacity, we'd be annihilated. We learn, and we get better. There is a sense of history in the work. Things are difficult, before they are easy. 'There is a voice that doesn't use words. Listen.' - Rumi The new oil on aluminium works seek to combine 2 distinct styles that I've been working on for the past 6 years or so. They are : (1) The cityscape paintings and the (2) Oil on aluminium abstract experiments (namely, the Surface Tension, Terra Firma and Particle Series of works). I've always wanted to paint cityscapes on aluminium composite panels. What a challenge! Thankfully, 2023 (after many murals - which are great experiences) brings this intrinsic calling to realization. In making the works (there are others, which I will slowly parcel out on the socials) I am inured by errors in judgement, limitations and insight which make the work all the more human. The works are failable, immersive, raw and immediate. There's a sense of urgency - the piece almost falls apart. But it doesn't. It's not there yet, and at the same time it has arrived. A delicate balance. A quiet strength. One can very quickly go from - This is okay (not bad) to complete destruction. Aluminiums are very unforgiving surfaces, repelling paint and reacting in quite unconventional ways. We've definitely got a risky thing going on here. 'Elixir' (Jalan Tun Tan Cheng Lock, KL), 48x48 inches, Oil on aluminium, 2023. Sold 'Untitled ACP04-2023', 48x48 inches, Oil on aluminium, 2023 This monologue only happens to the best of us. When we are at the precipice of understanding everything, yet oddly in unfamiliar territory. We still don't know what exactly it is that we're searching for. It's a place where experience meets wonder. Where realism dances with abstraction. Where strength meets pliability.
It's where structure meets chaos - beckoning more questions. It's disruptive. A shifting of perspectives. A new way of looking at things. These are concepts. Brought into the world through a desire to form, build, create, cajole, ossify. It is the calling that needed to be heard. It's difficult for me as an artist to leave the marks that were laid down - alone. Because it's final. It cuts off all other possibilities. But it has to be done. It's about instilling discipline into the process. It's about trusting that I have done my best. That we've reached the end. But of course, that never happens intrinsically. 'The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.' - Marcus Aurelius 'It takes a village to raise a child' - African proverb It's 2023. It's a Saturday and it's in the afternoon as I write this sitting at my dining table at home (the typing and uploading of this essay will be done sitting in front of my Mac Mini later). The sun beams its rays from about 150 million kilometres away and it nurtures and provides sustenance to all forms of life on our planet - Humans, plants and animals thrive in this auspicious configuration. As I sit here and write, I begin to form an idea of what it is that I'm supposed to express. This feeling is aligned with title of this essay : To put one's foot in front of the other. As simple as this statement may or may not sound, I truly believe that understanding simple truths like this make all the difference in one's life. For example, following the non-hurried flow and simplicity of one's breath in and out is fundamentally the nature of our existence. Something which many take for granted, or completely forget about at times. I grew up at a time when there were no handphones. No personal computing. No social media. No Youtube, movies on demand and most of all - No Google. And because of this, we knew nothing about the world we lived in, except for things we read in Encyclopaedias, books, newspapers or through conversing with others. The family functioned as a grounding element, where one derived his/her/their first views of the world. Back then, it was okay not to know everything. There existed things out there that we needed to seek knowledge and experience for. To gain some insight and understanding. You had to work for your meal. So it was a different era. To learn about the world, you had to go out and experience it. And hopefully maintain your sanity at the end of the day. You went home after your explorations about life. The family unit was (and is) supposed to be coherent, sheltered - A safe place. But it also evolves and changes as one's needs (and family units, groups or systems) - change over time. Seasons change. So does character, habits and life choices do so with age, and with the times. New technologies are invented all the time. New energy and ways of working too. Science marches on. I have since then gone through many wonderful (and sometimes uncomfortable) changes, and writing this one the eve of my birthday, serves to highlight a passage of time to the narrative. What have I learnt? I'd like to show you a diagram of what artists' go through when they attempt new work (it's also called The Creative Process, in jest) : Ironically, I think it relates to a lot of other things in life too. It's about how we approach, think and experience things in life. These thoughts circulate (perhaps in mostly the same pattern) whenever we attempt a new task. It happens when we attempt mighty and challenging tasks. It's about beginnings and endings. We all encounter Act 2 : Conflict. At this stage we question our motives. We appear lost and confused. This leads to negative thoughts. I'm not good enough. Who am I trying to fool? I don't know what I'm doing. This sucks. I think it's a natural occurrence, and it's the part of the flow of things. Not knowing, not being able to see into the future is fairly normal; especially when we are confronted with the unknown. When we attempt new things for the first time, of course we don't know what we're doing. Wisdom and resilience comes after the experience, and never before. The point of going through with things is in the challenge. That you are called upon to partake and participate in this thing called life. The premise of all this is evolution. To live a fuller, more expansive life. You are growing and it's painful, no doubt. But change isn't painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful. Resistance comes from within, not externally. How do we find peace and stability in this process? Not overthinking helps. Wu-Wei. Effortless action. And faith. It is the labels that we give to ourselves and others, the thoughts and feelings that we attach ourselves to, that gives these things a sticky feeling. We give these things energy, a form, a name, a feeling - When we don't necessarily have to. There is a biological and chemical thing that happens in our brains when we keep thinking in a certain way for prolonged periods of time. I'm no neuroscientist or doctor, but neural pathways do exist and they carry electrical and biological energy in the process. Stick a metal rod into an orange and you can conduct enough energy to light an LED bulb. While we are governed by these biological, physiological and emotional impulses daily - being human - It would be beneficial to self reflect, meditate upon and study - Our limitations, as well as gifts. That yes, while we may possess biases and blind spots, we also carry in us seeds of creative energy (or waves, if you prefer that visual). We have our own specialties. Some are scientists who learn and discover new things about the earth we live in. Some are doctors that attend to the sick. Some are artists who work with their mediums to express music, writing, dance and art. Some are trained psychologists and they attend to mental and emotional health issues. The list goes on. 'The Well Where We All Go Down To Drink', 60x60 inches, Mixed Media on canvas, 2020 Each person you meet today or in the near future are but parts of the universe waving back at you. It's saying to you, 'Hey, hi!' or 'We are here, right now in the moment and what a great joy it is to see you!' Although, in some deviations the message can differ. Sometimes it's a serene whisper, connection and companionship. Sometimes it's on the other end of the spectrum - something that irks you. Something that makes you angry. Or bamboozles and disrupts your day. Or sometimes it makes you feel uncomfortable. Stressed out. But the premise is always this : It's something that asks for your attention. For your time and awareness. The difference lies in how you perceive it. What is it asking of you? To expand your awareness. Are you seeing and sensing these things from a perspective of fear, lack or understanding and awareness? I think we all intuitively know where we are operating from (if we dare to ask the questions that matter).
Take some time to address this. If you do, don't lump all your troubles into one basket, or funnel all your challenges into one particular moment. Break it down. Ask the question, why? What is it that I need to change and be aware of? Place one foot in front of the other. The destination / end goal is not important. It's how we navigate and walk the path that matters. Everyone has their own core beliefs and values, but I'd like to finish off with a few that resonate with me : With humility, love, abundance, understanding, awareness and camaraderie. Don't let the monkey mind get you. |
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